Happy Friday all.
We’re getting close to publication day, which means we are inching closer to your opportunity to help us beat the Amazon algorithm by buying the Kindle edition for just 99p on the morning of Monday 10 May between 10am and midday - we’ll send you a little reminder that day. Do remember to keep your receipt and bring it to the launch event to claim an extra free drink on us.
And don’t forget you can register for a free place to hear Julie speak and ask her questions at the LikeMinds Business Breakfast TV session on 19 May here.
This week, Julie focuses on feedback which underpins a number of themes in the book. As ever, we’d love to hear your views. If you use Twitter, you can see more on this topic over the coming week @OwnYourDay_Book too.
Julie’s thoughts on feedback…
Writing this book was underpinned by a real desire to create something practical to support managers. Especially those who may have felt like their agency had become diminished, their autonomy eroded, and might be in need of support to step out of that space and rekindle their sense of ownership.
With any personal change, it’s not only important to think about those we want and need to make, but also to consider the power of sharing those goals with others. It’s a great way of being held to account for the changes you want to make or see. When I think about this, it makes me reflect on a time when I used to convince myself I was going to start running but never did. This illusion lasted for years, until I arranged to do it with someone else. Making it public and committing to someone else increased the chances of it happening, and now I’d just about call myself a runner!
Whenever we embrace our curiosity to learn and grow, I think we face three big questions. Firstly, when you look at how you have always done something - then compare this to the the place you want to get to - what is it that you think you might need to change? And once you’ve identified that, what are you going to do about it? And finally, who is it that you are going to tell…?
Who you tell isn’t just about making it real or making yourself accountable. It’s for the most vital ingredient of all…feedback. This is the lifeblood of change and personal development. As someone once said to me, it provides the oxygen to keep your goals alive. Boris Becker famously called it ‘the breakfast of champions’. It is a skill that we all need to become comfortable with, and then get expert at, if we are to drive the personal growth we want to see. Then we can help support others on the same journey.
But even as you read this, I know there’s a part of you somewhere that feels uncomfortable about the idea of feedback. I see this in so many people and organisations. I’m fascinated by the way that the word feedback inspires dread, or even terror. The root cause of this is because it just isn’t common enough in organisations. Fearing feedback disappears if it is just part of how you do things. Embedded as part of the ways of working. At the heart of your culture.
Feedback features prominently in the section of our book on having difficult conversations: a theme that every manager we spoke to in our research said they struggled with, yet something that every manager will face at some point in their career. It could be managing a star performer, someone who is struggling or - that most challenging of all - the mediocre. Without a culture of feedback, these conversations are even harder to do well.
But I think we need to look broader than that when we consider the value of feedback. It is clear that feedback is the foundation stone for so many things that enable organisations to succeed. It builds trust. It is empathetic. It drives innovation. It supports collaboration. And there is no such thing as good or bad feedback, there is just feedback, given with positive intent, respectfully, and kindly. As Brene Brown talks about so brilliantly in this blog
I’ve been on a mission for the past 20 years to encourage teams and organisations to get comfortable with feedback. And you only get comfortable with anything if you practice it. If we all did this every day, we would turn the tide away from fear. We’d get to a place of embracing and getting the benefit of both giving and receiving regular feedback. I learned a brilliant, but simple way of getting started with this from Graham Allcott which I often share with teams:
Get yourself four coins and start the day with the four of them on the left hand side of your desk. Or carry them in your pocket. Whatever works for you. Every time you provide someone with a piece of feedback, move one of the coins to the right hand side of the desk, or your right pocket. If you use pennies you could consider it a penny for each thought. Repeat, every day, at least four times, until it becomes a new, properly ingrained habit.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
I would add that the only rule for this exercise is that you show up for the person you are providing the feedback to with positive intent, where their best interests are at the heart of your motivation. I often wonder about the performance of individuals, teams and organisations would be transformed if everyone did that, every day. The four pennies is such an easy ritual to build into your day and create a new habit. Genius.
Your thoughts…
We’re really keen to hear your thoughts on anything in this week’s note that has sparked your interest.
Are you someone who embraces or fears feedback?
Would the pennies exercise make it easier for giving feedback to become habitual?
Have you noticed the difference in organisations who embed feedback in their culture?
Whatever they are, we’d love to hear about them in the comments section. Simply click on this link to share your thoughts:
Until next Friday.
Best wishes
Julie & Diana
PS You can pre-order your copy of the book via these routes: